Council To Trial One-Way Walking System In Eastbourne Town Centre After People Keep Getting In Each Other's Way

By Robin Sheffield, Editor

EASTBOURNE — Radical new proposals could see pedestrians forced to follow a one-way system through Eastbourne town centre in an attempt to tackle congestion caused by people apparently forgetting how pavements work.

Under the fictional trial, pedestrians would be required to travel clockwise through the busiest parts of the town centre, with designated overtaking areas provided for anyone capable of walking faster than "leisurely."

Officials believe the scheme could significantly reduce incidents involving people stopping without warning, changing direction unexpectedly or forming an impenetrable human wall across the entire pavement.

"We've spent years looking at traffic congestion," a fictional spokesperson said.

"We eventually realised some of the worst congestion doesn't involve vehicles at all."

Slow Lane Proposed

Plans reportedly include dividing wider pedestrian areas into two lanes.

The left lane would be reserved for normal walking.

The right would be designated for overtaking.

Anyone wishing to stop suddenly and check their phone would first need to indicate.

Officials have not yet established how pedestrians are expected to indicate.

One proposal involves simply shouting "STOPPING" before coming to a halt.

Another suggests extending an arm.

Residents described both options as "ridiculous", although several admitted they would probably help.

Four-Abreast Walking Targeted

Particular attention will be paid to groups walking slowly alongside each other while leaving absolutely no route around them.

Under the proposed rules, groups of four or more would be required to periodically form a single-file line to allow trapped pedestrians behind them to escape.

Repeat offenders could be sent on what documents describe as an "awareness course."

The course would involve walking behind three people travelling extremely slowly for approximately two hours.

Officials believe most participants would understand the problem within seven minutes.

Shop Doorways Declared Clear Zones

Stopping immediately outside a shop entrance to have a lengthy conversation would also become an offence.

Residents would instead be directed towards newly created Designated Standing Around Areas.

These would contain benches, bins and sufficient space to discuss who you bumped into yesterday without preventing 40 other people from entering a shop.

Eastbourne resident Margaret Collins supports the idea.

"I was trying to get through town yesterday and two people were having a reunion in the middle of the pavement," she said.

"They'd obviously not seen each other for years."

"By the time I got around them, I felt like I'd been there for most of it."

Enforcement Teams Considered

Special pedestrian enforcement officers could patrol the town centre carrying whistles and small handheld speed-monitoring devices.

Nobody would be required to walk quickly.

However, anyone travelling exceptionally slowly while occupying the entire available width could receive a polite warning.

A second offence would result in a firmer warning.

A third would require them to move slightly to the left.

Council officials described this as "the strongest available sanction."

Residents Divided

News of the fictional proposals has already divided residents.

Some believe the scheme is unnecessary bureaucracy.

Others want it implemented immediately.

One local man suggested separate lanes should also be created for people looking at their phones.

Another demanded restrictions on suitcases.

A third called for an outright ban on stopping at the top of escalators.

Officials said the scope of the project was "rapidly getting out of hand."

The council would therefore need to consult residents before proceeding.

A public consultation event is expected to take place in the town centre.

Organisers have asked attendees to form an orderly queue.

At the time of publication, two people had stopped directly in front of the entrance.

Nobody could get past them.