Eastbourne Pier Introduces VIP Queue For Pensioners With Folding Chairs

EASTBOURNE — Eastbourne Pier has unveiled a dedicated VIP entrance for pensioners carrying folding chairs, following complaints that queuing for more than eight minutes was becoming "physically unreasonable."

The new lane, marked by tasteful blue rope barriers and a sign reading "Priority Access For Those Who Remember The Old Pier", opened on Monday morning.

Within minutes, a queue had formed.

Pier management say the initiative is designed to improve the visitor experience while recognising the "unique queuing needs" of Eastbourne's largest demographic.

"We've noticed some visitors arrive at 9am despite the pier not opening until 10," said operations manager Neil Carter.

"They're committed. The least we can do is give them somewhere comfortable to wait."

The dedicated lane includes benches every ten metres, complimentary Werther's Originals and volunteers trained to discuss the weather for extended periods.

Visitor Jean Thompson, 81, welcomed the move.

"I've been practising queuing since the 1950s," she said.

"It's nice to finally be recognised."

Others were less convinced.

"I don't mind waiting," said Dennis Parker, 78.

"I just don't like other people getting in before me."

The pilot scheme has already proven so popular that officials are considering introducing an Express Lane for residents wishing to point out how much nicer the pier looked "before all this modern nonsense."

At the time of publication, the VIP queue was moving slower than the standard queue after two regulars stopped halfway through to discuss whether Woolworths had ever sold better pickled onions.