Major Investigation Launched After Something Apparently Happened On A259 For Just Over An Hour

By Robin Sheffield, Editor

EAST SUSSEX — Residents across East Sussex have been left with absolutely no questions answered following reports that something happened on the A259 on Sunday evening.

The incident reportedly occurred east of the Pevensey Services roundabout at approximately 5.45pm.

The road was described as "part blocked."

Police were there.

By 7pm, the road wasn't blocked anymore.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is apparently the story.

Details Remain Extremely Detailed

Information surrounding the incident remains comprehensive.

We know where it happened.

We know when it happened.

We know police attended.

We know the road reopened.

What actually happened remains an unnecessary distraction from these otherwise excellent facts.

One local resident said: "Was it a crash?"

Nobody knows.

"Breakdown?"

Couldn't tell you.

"Police incident?"

Possibly.

"So what happened?"

Please stop asking difficult questions.

Journalists Continue Investigation

The Seagull Times has conducted its own extensive investigation and can exclusively reveal that the A259 is definitely a road.

Vehicles regularly travel along it.

Sometimes they stop.

Police also occasionally attend things.

Our investigation therefore concludes that an incident of some description almost certainly occurred.

This represents a significant breakthrough.

Road Successfully Becomes Road Again

By approximately 7pm, the road had reopened and traffic was reportedly able to continue travelling along it.

No further information was available.

Fortunately, this did not prevent an entire news article from being produced.

The Seagull Times will provide further updates as soon as we discover literally anything else.

Until then, residents can rest assured:

Something happened.

Police went there.

Then it was fine.

Journalism.