Seagulls Introduce "Chip Tax" For Tourists Visiting Eastbourne

EASTBOURNE — Eastbourne's seagull population has announced the introduction of a mandatory "Chip Tax" for all tourists eating along the seafront.

Under the new scheme, visitors are expected to surrender approximately three chips from every portion before consuming the remainder themselves.

Failure to comply may result in what the birds describe as "enforcement action."

The announcement was made by a particularly confident herring gull perched outside a fish and chip shop, who spent most of Tuesday morning staring directly at customers until they became uncomfortable.

Local bird experts say the behaviour has become increasingly organised.

"They're not stealing anymore," explained wildlife enthusiast Alan Briggs.

"They're collecting."

Witnesses say groups of gulls have adopted distinct roles, with one distracting diners while another approaches from behind before a third acts as lookout.

"They've basically reinvented organised crime," one visitor remarked.

Tourist Becky Lawson, visiting from Birmingham, said she'd barely sat down before a seagull landed opposite her.

"It just looked at me."

"I've never felt so judged while holding chips."

Minutes later, her lunch had disappeared.

Local residents remain largely unfazed.

"You learn the rules," said Eastbourne resident Carol Mitchell.

"You either eat indoors, or you accept you're buying lunch for two."

The seagulls have denied accusations of theft.

A spokesperson, who declined to identify himself but answered to "Steve", insisted the birds were simply "participating in the local economy."

"It's cultural," he said.

"We've been doing this for generations."

At the time of publication, several tourists had been seen attempting to outsmart the birds by hiding chips inside jackets.

The seagulls reportedly described the tactic as "adorable."