Seagull Steals Entire Sausage Roll From Child, Claims It Was "Left Unattended"

By Sally Squawks, Seagull Affairs Correspondent

EASTBOURNE — A seagull accused of stealing an entire sausage roll from a six-year-old child on Eastbourne seafront has denied wrongdoing, insisting the food had been "clearly abandoned."

The incident occurred shortly after midday when witnesses say the gull approached the family from behind before removing the sausage roll in what police would probably describe as an extremely efficient operation if they dealt with this sort of thing.

The child was reportedly still holding the pastry when it was taken.

Representatives for the gull dispute this version of events.

"Our client strongly rejects the suggestion that this was theft," said a spokesperson standing on the roof of a nearby shelter.

"The sausage roll appeared to be available."

When informed that it had been inside a child's hand, the spokesperson added: "That's a matter of interpretation."

Witnesses described the attack as "sudden but clearly planned."

"I saw one gull sitting on a lamppost watching them for ages," said local resident Sandra Morris.

"Then another one came in from the side."

"They're getting organised."

The stolen sausage roll was subsequently carried onto the roof of a nearby building, where three other gulls reportedly appeared within seconds despite having played no obvious role in obtaining it.

Arguments over distribution followed.

Local residents say food-related incidents have increased since the beginning of the summer tourist season.

"They know exactly who to target," said lifelong Eastbourne resident Keith Barker.

"They don't bother with locals."

"We've developed the stare."

Tourists remain significantly more vulnerable, particularly those carrying open portions of chips, pasties or anything purchased from a bakery.

Experts recommend keeping food close to the body and avoiding prolonged eye contact with gulls displaying what has been described as "entrepreneurial behaviour."

The family involved in Thursday's incident said their son was initially upset but recovered after being bought another sausage roll.

This time, his father stood guard.

The gull responsible was later seen approximately 200 metres away attempting to remove a doughnut from an elderly man.

Representatives again denied wrongdoing.

"It's a complicated legal area," they said.

The Seagull Times approached the accused bird for comment.

It screamed at our reporter, knocked over a bin and flew away.

Sally Squawks described the interview as "more productive than most."