
Author
Sally Squawks
Seagull Affairs Correspondent, The Seagull Times
Sally Squawks is the Seagull Affairs Correspondent for The Seagull Times, investigating chip thefts, bakery surveillance and increasingly organised gull activity across Eastbourne. Working dangerously close to the front line, Sally remains committed to holding the town's feathered population accountable — despite repeated threats to her lunch.
Latest stories
11 stories

Eastbourne Seagulls Demand Council Install Pedestrian Crossings On Rooftops
Birds say decades of dangerous chimney-to-chimney travel have been ignored while humans receive “luxury infrastructure” including pavements.

Seagull Steals Eastbourne Man's Entire Lunch Then Returns To Take Napkin
Victim says second visit was unnecessary, disrespectful and “felt extremely personal.”

Eastbourne Seagulls Begin Wearing Fake Deliveroo Jackets To Get Closer To People's Food
Residents warned to check identification after several suspicious delivery riders found to have wings and absolutely no bicycle.

Eastbourne Gulls Launch Own Food Delivery Service Where Customers Order Lunch And Never Receive It
New ‘Gulliveroo’ service promises delivery within 30 minutes before taking food directly to undisclosed rooftop.

Eastbourne Seagulls Form Residents' Association And Immediately Complain About Tourists
Birds demand quieter seafront, more food facilities and ban on humans photographing them without permission.

Eastbourne Seagulls Begin Charging Tourists £5 To Have Their Lunch Left Alone
Birds insist new "protection scheme" is entirely voluntary but consequences of refusing remain unclear.

Eastbourne Seagulls Demand Airbourne Display Slot After Claiming They've Been Flying Here All Year
Local birds accuse visiting aircraft of "turning up for four days and getting all the attention".

Eastbourne Seagulls Deny Deliberately Targeting People Who Have Just Washed Their Cars
Bird representatives describe allegations as "completely circumstantial".

Seagull Steals Entire Sausage Roll From Child, Claims It Was "Left Unattended"
Witnesses say the victim was still holding it at the time.

Eastbourne Seagull Spends Entire Afternoon Following Family Holding Greggs Bag
Bird reportedly unwilling to rule out "future opportunities".