Council To Trial One-Way Walking System In Eastbourne Town Centre After People Keep Getting In Each Other's Way
Residents could be fined for stopping suddenly outside shops or walking four-abreast at 0.3mph.
The Archive
Latest Stories
The latest satire, parody and local nonsense from Eastbourne and across East Sussex.
88 published stories
Eastbourne Pier Breaks Free Overnight And Begins Drifting Towards Sovereign Harbour
Residents told not to panic as landmark is believed to be travelling at "walking pace at best".
Featured
RAF Typhoon Accidentally Activates Every Car Alarm In Eastbourne During Airbourne Display
Residents as far away as Hampden Park reportedly checking driveways despite not remembering where they parked.
Eastbourne Dad Offers To Pick Red Arrows Up From Canada In His Ford Galaxy
Local man says pilots should "give us a ring when they're ready" and he'll leave after breakfast.
Sussex Border Dispute Erupts After Village Discovers Half Its Residents Are Technically In The Other Sussex
Emergency meeting called after homeowner learns wheelie bin may have been living in West Sussex for nine years.
Eastbourne Considering Moving Beach Six Feet Closer To Sea Following Complaints About Stones
Officials admit removing the pebbles entirely would "leave very little beach".
Council Launches £120,000 Campaign Asking Residents To Stop Asking What Council Tax Pays For
Officials say answering individually was becoming "administratively unsustainable".
Featured
Eastbourne Residents Admit Seafront Is Actually Quite Nice After Years Of Taking It For Granted
Locals shocked to discover people travel hundreds of miles to look at something they've been driving past on the way to work.
Sussex Village Declares State Of Emergency After Someone Moves Wheelie Bin Before 7am
Residents say community may take "weeks, possibly months" to recover.
Eastbourne Seagulls Demand Airbourne Display Slot After Claiming They've Been Flying Here All Year
Local birds accuse visiting aircraft of "turning up for four days and getting all the attention".
Airbourne Opens After Eastbourne Man Points At First Aircraft And Confidently Gets It Wrong
Local dad expected to incorrectly identify up to 40 aircraft before Sunday evening.
Brighton Resident Discovers Free Parking Space, Refuses To Tell Anyone Where It Is
Location described as potentially "more valuable than property".